"Better Off Alone"

I never gave a reason

of why I didn't call

Now I've grown so tired

of lying to myself

It cannot go

what they know

Don't think it's all been a waste of time

Are you better off alone?

Stop lying to yourself

I regret what was said I deny what they know

Are you better off alone?

Those that we admired

All stood their ground and cried

I didn't start the fire

I just tried to see your eyes

It cannot go unsaid

I only want you to know

I think it's all going to

Work out fine

Are we Better Off Alone

Than lying to ourselves

Who cares what they've said?

Who cares what they know?

Are we better off alone

I know that my love I'll send

Could we still be friends?

But this is the end

We're better off alone

Than lying to ourselvesI regret what you say

I don't care what i know

Don't say it's all been a waste of time

Are you better off alone

Stop lying to yourself

It cannot go unsaid

i only want you to know

It cannot go unsaid,

I only want you to know,

think it's all going to work out fine.

if you guys don't know this song its called "better of alone" by grinspoon.

Its a realy great song and makes total sense to me as i can relate to it

OVER AND OUT!

what should i do about tomorrow night with my dad?!?!?!?!?!

right now I'm not in the best mood as I'm starting to panic about tomorrow and i still don't know what to do. I'm thinking i might tell me brother that i don't want to go... he will understand.

But the bonus about tomorrow is that i get to go to palmy so that means shopping! but i can't spend to much as i still owe my mum $100 for my photography fee's which are finally coming into use as we start using the cameras next week. so rach... i might need Ur help :) lol

well i honestly don't know what to write about today, all i know is that i have to make up my mind on what to do tomorrow night, i have choices:
1: go to my brothers, get drunk and risk being near my dad or
2: stay at home where I'm safe, but sober and bored... *sigh*
So i think about it at work tonight.

OVER AND OUT!

another boring pointless blog on my part =)

Okay well, i have work today and im not looking forward to it. It seems that no-one ever gets there breaks on time or never at all.
Im over tird and last night i almost fainted while working due to the heat which isn't a good thing at all, so at the moment im searching online for part time jobs avalibe in feilding.
Its not going to well.
but otherwise my life is good and im starting to realise that i need to be more out going and gain more confidence, i need to stop hiding behind myself and be who i truly am. Theres only very people who know me for who im am and not who i put on to be and that's my family.
Im one of those people who changes who i am to please others. But i know that i need to change that and to show all you guys who i really am and to uncover myself from my mask.

Well my life is getting better, i was kind of depressed on Thursday and i still don't know why but when i got home i snapped at my mum which is very unlike me (we are so close that we don't generally argue) and my mum my knew that something was wrong but i didn't know what to say to her.

I was told to write a deep and thought fill blog today but i have no idea what to write so im just rambling


"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!"

i have these quotes stuck in my head at the moment and they are driving me insane!
Its that time again and i have to head of to work, sorry about my blogs being crap im just not having the best week at the moment, to many mood swings :(

OVER AND OUT!

This is only a short post as i have work shortly

well right now im soaking wet! yay
today at school we had swimming sports. i didn't swim but i enjoyed myself, (due to being next to a little someone... LOLIUM)

Te majority of my friends wagged today o it was only a few of us at school, it went alright but there was one bitch fight. At times i wish there was none of this in the world it can ruin a friendship.

Well Ive got to go, tome for work!
Ill write a decent post tomorrow

OVER AND OUT!

the day that i almost cried at school

well Ive been at school for a week now, and already i have a crush on a new guy... the annoying thing is, he doesn't seem to know im here. So slowly im trying to gain the courage to talk to him, but he intimidates me :(

In reading today i almost cried... my teacher was looking at me and had no idea what to do. lolium dam book. its about the author "Alice Seabold" and how she got around to writeing the story "the lovely bones" as a uni student she was raped while returing to her dorm. Its realy sad. I never cry when reading a book so this is saying alot.

honestly i have nothing to write about today, im not worried about anything, im not extremely annoyed at anyone... well im a little annoyed but im pretty sure they are annoyed at me to. But life goes on...

do dum do de...

OVER AND OUT!

"she told me that my pen was a dagger and that my watch was a fading rose in my hand"

To some this phrase would mean nothing, but to me it tells me that i have had somethings said to me that i wish i hadn't heard. While growing up i was constantly saying "i don't want to be here, i don't want to be alive...." due to what i had people tell me, mainly my father and step mum. due to these words my days past but the days were miserable and full of depression. but time is fading away and i realised that i can't go on living this way and i had to make a change, with help from my councilor and my mum and made my time on this planet worth while. no-one should live a life with depression and feeling down due to the way they look/feel about them selves.
there is help out there! you just need to learn where to look and what to look for, it could be a friend, a random person on the street or even a relative. once you have found them you just need to focus on getting better.

well thats all i have to say for now, my mind has gone blank.

OVER AND OUT!

if only i knew your name....

when fear grips your body

and your hearts a humming bird

mixed up signals

a bullet train

cars are switched out in the poring rain

i could meet you any place

if only i knew your name

all this automatic writing

I've tried to understand

i put pen to paper and watch my words stain

i tried to pass for nothing

but my dreams gave me away

mixed up signals

a bullet train

people snuffed out in the brutal rain

i could live to any age

if only i knew your name

mixed up tea leaves

phantom pain

thunder crashes

fuzzy logic in the crazy rain

it's getting better every day

but if only i knew your name

mixed up signals

a bullet train

cars are crashing in the blinding rain

everything would be OK...

if only i knew your name

this a song i wrote but it is still unfinished, but i have no idea who i am talking about.

well my past few days have been OK, i start school again today which in ways is good and other bad. any way when i finally finish my song, ill post it.

OVER AND OUT