The Tuesday that i can't seem to forget! :(

im sitting here thinking... what should i tell you guys today?
And my mind is completely blank.

I was thinking of typing up a song i wrote but decided against it as i don't wanna offend anyone. any way its called "his lies" and it goes on about how i have lost trust in this one particular person and how now i don't know what to believe. but this is how my life seems to be at the moment, when i think i can finaly trust some-one and tell them almost anything... they go do something that hurts me and i lose my trust in them. Throughout my life as i was growing up it was always the same, i trust people way to easily and then i regret it. i don't know why I'm like this.... but i just am.
I wake up each day and i think about those who i have lost... i think about my best friend over in Brunei and wonder if shes OK, i wake up and wonder how my day is going to end, and about my friends who isn't in the best state at the moment.
it may not seem like it but I'm constantly thinking about others and wondering if they are OK and if i may have offended them with something that i have done or said.

Any way I'm back at school next week, and its going to intresting... my ex is now going out with one of my mates and i still don't know what to think about it. I'm happy for them but im still not sure how i feel about it. I think its going to be hard for the first few days but then ill be o.k, well at least i hope so. It can only get better in the end, all i want is to have one of my best mates back, when he broke up me i didn't only lose my boyfriend but i also lost one of my best mates that i felt i could tell anything.
Before we even went out, he was there when i needed advice on guys and honestly his advice helped. but then he ignored me for weeks i didn't know what to do. to make matters worse when i arived home on the Tuesday that he broke up with me my dad was there and he started shouting abuse at me.. all i could do was break down in tears.
When my mum got home at 5pm she found me in the hallway in a pool of tears and she had no idea what was going on and it took her 2 hours to calm me down. if it wasn't for my mum i would have more than likely had a relapse again. But the next day i went to school and tried to pretend that nothing had happened, but of course i was distant.
i have no idea why I'm posting this. But its all true, and its just what my life is like.

well i got to go
i love you guys XOXO

OVER AND OUT!